WHAT TO DO NOW?

Now that you have gotten your taxes out of the way, what to do now?

Now, you sign up for those fall conferences to make sure that you get on panels or are able to speak or moderate.

Why now?

When you sign up early, you are almost guaranteed a spot on a panel, to be a moderator and may even be asked to give a keynote speech.

What could be better than being a speaker and being able to sell your novel or your works while doing something that you didn't think you could do.

I'm just getting back into the swing of things but my conference schedule includes the Creatures, Crimes and Creativity conference in Columbia, Maryland.

If you need to see what I am talking about; please follow this link. #MDC3Con is the hashtag that paid registrations can use to be entered in a chance to win a fabulous prize. They also have the opportunity for authors to raise money for the literacy program in Howard County Md.

How? By asking authors to put together a 'reader basket" that all attendees can buy tickets for and win some great prizes.

Yes, we do more than just write; we also give back to our community.

Are you signed up yet? Gasp, you're not? Well it's not to late. 

Meet me there and I promise we can share a drink, some stories and you will get a look at my newest novel.

TAKE CARE OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

I spoke to my partner, former lover and dear friend on Thursday at 2:34 pm until 5:15 pm. We joked, laughed, talked about what could have been and what might be. We talked about how we missed each other and how we always could make each other laugh.

He made plans to have lunch with me today.

On Friday morning, at or around 7:30 am; he walked from his house for about 10 minutes; went to the nearby park and hung himself.

While we all were marveling at the snow; our emails came in. Mine was time stamped at 2:30 am.

His parting words; "Milk Chocolate, don't ever give up".

Yet less than 24 hours had passed and he had given up. Deciding to take his own life rather than face another day.

Milk Dud and Milk Chocolate

As we gathered at his home, what we didn't know was that after losing his job three years ago; he fought a great fight.

He tried but the world got the better of him. His lights had been turned off more than three months prior. He didn't have gas to cook food but he managed by using his fireplace. He didn't have a car anymore and his weekly golfing buddies; hadn't seen him in over a year.

He never expressed the trouble he was having. He never expressed one word of depression. He always laughed. Always had a smile on his face but privately he was battling demons that none of us knew.

He addressed letters to each of his closest friends and family. All were different yet they were all the same.

He expressed sorrow for letting us down. Sorrow for having to ask for some form of help in his time of knowing us and then he wrote his own obituary. He wrote to each of us why he choose Feb. 1, 2019 to end his life.

For me; he knew I loved Christmas and he didn't "want me to be sad during that time of year because of him."

He wrote of how he didn't want us to be stressed or worried. Instead we are mourning and missing him. Instead we all want to punch him in the face and then hug him really tight. Instead we are arranging to say our final goodbyes.

However, in all of this; he suffered from a mental illness that none of us knew. Writing this was the hardest thing I have ever had to do because I loved that man with all that I am and now; my soul is broken and hurting. My spirit is missing the man that constantly referred to me as beautiful and my head knows that no matter how much I am hurting; he was hurting much more.

So today, I cry. Today I miss him. Today I refuse to think of him; hanging from a tree; dressed in his favorite business suit.

Today I remember my special friend and the way he told me that he loved me on Thursday and to never give up my smile for anyone.

Today I honor him. Bobby you will always be remembered as the die hard Redskin fan who loved this die hard Dallas fan to pieces.

Rest easy BP...rest easy.

OH HOW FAST THIS YEAR HAS GONE

In less than five weeks we will be ringing in 2019.

What a year it has been! I have broken three bones, had four surgeries, still deal with cancer and have physical therapy every day. I have retired and opened my own travel agency. Nope; not the kind that I have to work for someone else...the kind that I own and operate on my own. I'm actually certified, crazy and as a travel agent.

Imagine that...2018 will be done in less than five weeks.

Have you gotten everything done that you wanted to? Have you finished or started that novel that you had been thinking about? Have you gotten yourself ready for the upcoming year?

Although the year wasn't what I thought it would be, it has sure turned out way better than I thought it would be.

I have traveled more in the past three months than I have in the past three years. 

I have met some wonderful people, authors and many have become friends.

I have fallen in love, out of love and something in between love.

I have welcomed a new 'almost' daughter in law and lost a dear friend.

2018 has been one helluva year but I wouldn't change it for anything.

2019 will bring new challenges, new hopes and new dreams and I am ready for it, are you?

CYBER BULLYING

I have always heard about it but had never experienced it.

Until last week.

I was on FB and commented on a post. Suddenly, Christina began commenting about what I had said. She even went as far as to go to my other FB page, copy and paste a picture I had taken and post it in the group we were having a discussion in. She was rude, name calling and mean. She was, what you would call a Cyber Bully. 

When I asked why she went to my other FB page and copied/pasted a picture from my page, her words, "I posted it in another one of my groups to show people that you are a SPAMMER."

Wait, what?

How did I spam my own page. I didn't post it anywhere else and I was in my own home. I posted it to MY followers; which I said to her. So unlike so many people on that post that privately messaged me and told me to ignore her. I was NOT going to let this bully get away with 1. accusing me of something I didn't do and 2. take my photo and post to other groups, that I am not in, without my permission or consent.

I responded to one young lady who told me that Christina "does this in a lot of groups and people just block her or ignore her." Uh, no..that is why she thinks its OK. Not today and not me!

She kept on with her barrage of comments and name calling and I responded by telling her that it was "raining in DC all week and I was sorry she was having a bad day but to take a breath and it would be OK." That got a barrage of more aggressive and mean spirited replies including, "OMG, ARE YOU SERIOUS. YOU TAKE A BREATH. YOU ARE SO AGGRESSIVE."
My response came much later and I said, "I'm sorry that you think that is aggressive but sharing my photo is not something that you should be doing." To which she said, "I WILL SHARE WHAT I WANT AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME." (and yes, it was in all capital letters)and then she wrote this, "I see you commenting back but I'm not going to say anything else." I looked and she had deleted all but her last comment. So, I went back and deleted every comment I made. (although I had been pleasant and didn't call names) I wanted her to see that I was in this 'game' to win it. 

Then it happened, someone spoke up and said, "Wow, Christina is there a problem? Why are you attacking Sandra?" 

Boo-yah!

She was caught! and just like that...dead air!

She then had the nerve to private message me and say, "you don't deserve to be on FB." My response, "Yes, I do..it's bullies like YOU who don't deserve it."

She posted one last time and I quote. "You can block me if you don't like me but I am not the aggressive one. You all are." To which a lot of people took exception to it and called her out. 

Many of them are in different groups with her, asked my permission to screen shot her comments and share them. 

Bullies can't handle when you stand up for yourself and for this woman; cyber bullying seems to be the way she makes herself feel good. But she met her match when she said one to many rude comments to me. 

So if you are on FB and know Christina W. (who is a travel agent as well) just know, she is aggressive, a cyber bully and will post your pictures without your knowledge or consent. 

I am breaking her reign on FB of cyber bullying people 

SUMMER TIME AND THE READING IS EASY

We all like when summer comes. 

Especially if you are an author.

We get to read some of our favorite authors but it is also a chance for us to make some new fans. 


We bring out our books, past and present. Dust them off, sometimes get a new cover and hope to attract those readers that are willing to give a new author a chance. And some older authors a chance as well.


So here are a few covers of books that you should give a try.

 There is something for everyone; so make sure to pick up one, two or all of them.

DREAMING OF A....

What are you dreaming of?

Is it to write full time? Is it to vacation all the time? Is it to stop your 9-5 and do what you really want to do with your career?

Well, what are you waiting for?

It's true. Time waits for no one and time never stands still.

I know all to well that waiting does nothing but make you lose time.

Why are you afraid to do what you want in life?

Do you think that the inventor of Facebook decided he wanted to wait and start a new social media site?

Do you think that millionaires waited until they had enough money in the bank to begin investing in what they really wanted to do?

Everyone starts from zero. Everyone has the same opportunity to begin something from scratch. However, it is what you do with opportunity when it comes knocking.

Sometimes, it will never knock. Sometimes you have to be willing to tap "opportunity" on the shoulder and meet it where it is.

That's right. Go after what you want. Go after what you feel passionate about.

Don't wait for it to come to you, go after it.

Remember, dreaming of something doesn't make it happen.

Making it happen takes not only guts but it will make that dream a reality in no time.

SITTING STILL OR LIVING LIFE

Well, I have done now. 

I broke my ankle in two places and a bone in my foot. 

So, what do I do now?

Since I am on total bed rest, I am going to finish up my novel The Stiletto Stalker.

I'm on bed rest for at least three weeks and this will give me enough time to finish up my novel and edits and then begin working on finishing up The Teachers Lounge.

I am not a person who can sit still for any length of time but this is making me sit still. 

Someone said, "You never sit still so you needed something to make you sit still".

That made me think. Most people my age (51) are working, enjoying a simple life and doing things that they love.

I am no different. I live my life, I enjoy adventure and vacations and that is what I love doing. 

I'm 51 not 91. And even if I was, does that mean that I can't go out dancing every week, hanging with my friends for happy hour once a week or going on mini vacations whenever my bank account says I can?

Most people say that they will "wait until they retire to travel and really enjoy life." Why should I do that? Why should I wait? Why should I do what most people would do? 

Even my grown children say, "Mom you should slow down" No ma'am and no sir, I will not.

I want to live a life that I enjoy. I don't ask anyone for anything. I pay for my own trips and I pay for the life that I want. 

IF you choose to wait, than that is your choice. I choose not to. That's my choice. 

So, while I have to be on complete bed rest., I will finish up my novels but just as I am sitting in bed writing this blog; I have just booked my trip to the Bahamas in December.

So either you choose the life you want or let others tell you what you should be doing.

Which one will you do? I think you know my choice. 

TINY HOUSE UPDATE

I know that you have been thinking...whatever happened with the tiny house?

Tiny House Builder and us

My tiny house builder

Well, nothing.

Plain and simple.

I am still raising money for it and my hope is that by the end of this year I will have the TINY HOUSE of my dreams!

sample lay out

I started a GoFund me page Tiny Bowman House and people are contributing. I thank all of you that have done so and I hope that more of you will help me realize my dream of owning my tiny house.

See the thing is; banks don't finance tiny homes. They say there "is no collateral" that you can offer for us to finance it.

Well, excuse me. The tiny house is on WHEELS, so if I don't pay, you can simple, hire a towing company and come and take the house. You know, like banks do when you miss a car payment.

So, why is it that banks won't offer this kind of loan?

If they want people to own their own homes; why not let the people choose the type of home they want to own.

My actual tiny house plans

My tiny house is my dream house! Plain and simple.

I used to want a 3,500 sq foot house. I wanted a basement, a pool and at least 5 bedrooms. Now; my needs have changed. I no longer need something so large that it would take me a day to clean. I want something that fits me.

Just Me!

So my tiny house would be the perfect fit...for me.

So, my tiny house update is:

My living room/kitchen

I haven't given up on owning my tiny dream house. It's just taking a little longer to actually get the money to do it.

So, instead of asking for house warming gifts; I'm asking for house donating gifts.

Remember, when I get my tiny house; all of you will get a chance to name it. In case you want a jump on naming it. Here are a few pictures; that can give you a sense of what it will look like.

REFRESHED, RENEWED, REJUVANATED

That is how I feel when I spend time with other authors. 

In the past few weeks, different writer and fan conferences concluded.

MDC3Con (Creatures, Crimes and Creativity) and BoucherCon are two of my favorites. Thrillerfest is another.

This is the time of year for the three R's. 

Refreshing your desire to write. Renewing your goals and rejuvenating that manuscript that has been in your desk for months without seeing the light of day. 

This is also the time of year for the fourth R.

Reflection.

Reflect on what you have done for the last 10 months. Reflect on how your writing has improved. Reflect on what it is to be an author. 

This is the time that the leaves change, your wardrobe gets warmer and your writing should become easier as the day passes. 

This is also the time of year that authors gather to talk and share ideas. They share what they have learned with each other. They share their ups and downs. They share their successes and their failures. 

They also share what they plan on doing differently in the coming year. 

If you don't have a support group to talk to; you really need to join one. 

Better yet....create one. 

Create what you need. After all; writing is a solitary thing. But the benefits of being an author is that you get to meet some amazing people to reflect, refresh, renew and be rejuvenated with.

Are you ready for your new season? 

I am.

WHERE DID THE TIME GO?

I blinked my eyes and summer was over and now the fall has begun.

Where did all of my time go?

Well, I spent a lot of it,  recuperating from various illnesses and trying to find my drive to write again.

I'm not ashamed to say that I have been occupy my time with relationships and travel and tiny house plans but now is the time for me to sit my butt back at my computer and get these novels done.

Yes, I said novels.

Since August, I have been working on three novels, at the same time. 

Trying to finish up, The Stiletto Stalker. Working on The Teacher's Lounge and also working on a new romance; not yet titled.

See; while it may "seem" that I have become a slacker; I really haven't. 

Life got in the way but so did I. You see, I got in the way of my own writing. Every time I wanted to sit down and write; something would pull my attention away from it. Grand kids ( I have a new set of twins grandchildren, which makes 11 for me!) Work...trying to retire so that I can write all the time. Friends...yes, I love hanging out with my friends.

So you see, my life took on a life of it's own and now I'm ready to slow myself back down and get back to my first love. 

Writing.

So, where did your time go? How did you spend it and was it worth it? 

I can say...Absolutely!

OBSERVATIONS

I have been very observant in the last few weeks.

Having a very high blood pressure makes you take notice of small things.

Not that I want to do that but I've been trying to find out the cause.

1. I learned that I am a high energy person. 
With high blood pressure sometimes that high energy is not a good thing. 

2. I learned that I breath slower when I'm stressed. 
Most people breath rapidly during a stressful period. For some reason I like to be different.

3. I learned that I write the best erotic/sexual scenes when I'm stressed.
Hmmm, is that a good thing or a bad thing.

4. I learned that I like mystery and thriller novels.
Yep, I am a staunch book reader and now I'm widening my book reading library.

5. I learned that no matter how small my house is, I'll always have books.
Yep, now re-working those tiny house plans because I need space for my books.

6. I learned that people that SAY they are in your corner and who SAY they will support you, don't.
Yes, this was one of the hardest lessons to learn. 

If you aren't going to support that local author, or that friend, stop saying you will. We don't need to hear it. We would rather know it.

See the difference is that everyone wants to feel like they can do something. If you can't do something, you can't do it. But when you say, out loud, that you will. Now that is where the problem lies.

You have backed yourself into a corner. Stop saying what you think they want to hear and just say what they need to hear.

"Yes, I'd like to buy that book but I don't really have time to read." "Yes, I'd like to donate but really don't have any money." "Yes, I'd like to come but I really just want to stay home and relax".

See, it's not that hard. 

Observe what people say and then act accordingly. 

That's what I do now and it's leading to less stress for me.