OBSERVATIONS

I have been very observant in the last few weeks.

Having a very high blood pressure makes you take notice of small things.

Not that I want to do that but I've been trying to find out the cause.

1. I learned that I am a high energy person. 
With high blood pressure sometimes that high energy is not a good thing. 

2. I learned that I breath slower when I'm stressed. 
Most people breath rapidly during a stressful period. For some reason I like to be different.

3. I learned that I write the best erotic/sexual scenes when I'm stressed.
Hmmm, is that a good thing or a bad thing.

4. I learned that I like mystery and thriller novels.
Yep, I am a staunch book reader and now I'm widening my book reading library.

5. I learned that no matter how small my house is, I'll always have books.
Yep, now re-working those tiny house plans because I need space for my books.

6. I learned that people that SAY they are in your corner and who SAY they will support you, don't.
Yes, this was one of the hardest lessons to learn. 

If you aren't going to support that local author, or that friend, stop saying you will. We don't need to hear it. We would rather know it.

See the difference is that everyone wants to feel like they can do something. If you can't do something, you can't do it. But when you say, out loud, that you will. Now that is where the problem lies.

You have backed yourself into a corner. Stop saying what you think they want to hear and just say what they need to hear.

"Yes, I'd like to buy that book but I don't really have time to read." "Yes, I'd like to donate but really don't have any money." "Yes, I'd like to come but I really just want to stay home and relax".

See, it's not that hard. 

Observe what people say and then act accordingly. 

That's what I do now and it's leading to less stress for me.

DOWN BUT NOT OUT

I am a very private person. I don't share much but this week I feel it necessary to share some things that many people don't know.

Late last year, I mentioned that I had some health issues. Well those health issues reared ALL of their heads last week.

Not only am I dealing with a heart issue but for the past year, I have been dealing with gastrointestinal cancer. (Stomach cancer in normal terms)

This has caused me to do a number of things.

First, I stepped down as the marketing director of Intrigue Publishing. I give of all of myself when I am marketing and when this diagnosis came, I felt that it (Cancer) needed my total focus. I didn't want to slight my authors and I didn't want to turn my back on this 'new' medical issue.

Second, I took a break from writing. Not on my blog but on my novels. I found that my energy level wasn't the same and I wasn't able to sit for hours at a computer but was able to do it in short bursts.

Third, I began chemo and radiation treatments and my final one was on Jan. 17, 2017. To celebrate, we took a cruise. We had an adventure in Falmouth, Jamaica that NONE of us will ever forget. #PricelessMemories

Four, I began plans for my dream home. Many of you have heard me talk about tiny living and this is one thing that I MUST have before my moment in this life is gone. 

Fifth, with this newest health issue, I am now beginning to see life in a different way.

My children and I have come to terms with all that is happening right now and there will be long, hard conversations that need to be had. However, I know that we will get through this.

I have two men in my life and four women that I know will always encourage me.+Austin Alex, Denise, Susan, Debbie and Carmin. (My closet circle) and my girl, my skittle +Paula Lanier

I'm living life slower. I'm living each day with laughs and smiles and I am cutting my stress levels down. No one can live a stress free life but you can alter the way you handle the stress that comes at us each day.

I don't know how I am going to get my tiny home. Why? Because no banks will finance it. No loans can be taken out for it and most tiny home builders expect full payment.

My tiny home will cost me about $32K; of which I don't have but I know that I will have my tiny home before the end of the year. Why? Because I believe that what is meant for me; is for me.

So why do I tell you all of this?

I decided that being a private person is OK but sharing, with the people close to you, is also OK.

I share this to give you a glimpse into my world. I share this, not for sympathy, but for transparency.

I'm living my life like it's Golden. I am cherishing each and every moment I have here and I am not wasting any time dwelling on what I don't have.

I am focusing on what I have. Right now; in this moment, I have a circle of people around me that love me like it's my last day.

And for that. I thank you.