THE RESULTS ARE IN

It's Monday, February 8th and the test results are in.

Recap.

I've been dealing with this nasty cold for over a week and finally gave in and called my doctor on a Friday night. I took my Covid test on Saturday, February 6 and here we are.

All caught up? 

It's now 9am and my phone dings, signaling that I have an incoming text. 

I check and see that my Covid results are in.

I open my email and see the large bright red exclamation point and the words CRITICAL in the corner.

This can't be good.

I read the words, "You have a POSITIVE Covid-19 test result"

Nope, I couldn't have read that right. So I re-read it. Over and over and over and over.

The words never changed. I couldn't believe it. I'm positive. 

Then my phone rang. MD COVID it said and so it began.

"You will be assigned a Covid response team. You will be sent a Covid Kit. You will have a nurse checking in on you every day. Do you have a way to check your oxygen level? 

Wait What. 

Do you have a way to check your oxygen levels?

Sure, I have that just lying around the house. No, no I don't have a way to do that. Should I? 

"We will send you one" 

That phone call lasted two hours. Two hours set my world upside down. Turned everything into a rush.

You need to have someone get your food for you. Do you need food? We can send you some. Do you need meds? Well not yet but we will send that to you as well. Do you need transportation? We can arrange that as well. 

I was sick enough that when I did my first oxygen check, within 2 minutes of uploading it, a nurse called and told me to immediately call 911. Instead I had him take me to the ER. 

I felt like I was in a movie. I had to go because I have asthma and because my breathing was labored. They wanted to keep me. I can't do it. I can't be alone for days at at time. 

That is where my mind went. I told my children and they started calling and sending messages, via our family chat on FB. 

Why didn't you stay? You need to go back. 

They didn't understand the terror that I felt. I wouldn't even get to see them. I couldn't have my phone because they will take it. 

No, I will go home. I want to be around things that I love and people that I love. At least I would be able to say goodbye. 

Truth be told, if I was going to die; I wanted to die at home. Not in a hospital, alone with strangers.

COVID TESTING

My doctor wants me tested ASAP. 

It's a Friday night and his office is closed but he tells me to get a test done at CVS. 

So I make the appointment and I have one for Saturday morning.

I have so much to do because I got a flat tire and need to get that fixed but I am still coughing and wheezing and sneezing like it's the middle of allergy season. I've gone through 2 full sized boxes of tissues and 4 small purse sized packages of tissues. I'm now resorting to the McDonald's napkins stuffed in my glovebox because I've run out. 

I manage to get all of the things done that I need to and make it to my appointment at CVS at 11am.

They give me the little brown bag containing my test kit. 

It consists of a long swab, a vial of some sort of liquid and a large gallon sized baggie with a sanitizing wipe in it.

The pharmacist gives me the directions on taking it and I'm terrified of sticking this thing in my nose.

"Make sure you push it up and not back." he says. "Make sure you go far enough that you bring a tear to your eye." 

Are you serious? Hmmm, how can I be sure that I am doing this right? Make my eyes water? If it's uncomfortable to do; won't I just stop SHORT of making my eyes water? Seems only natural that I wouldn't purposefully make myself cry.

It takes me about 5 minutes to decide to do this.

I take a deep breath and go in. 

"Go in as far as the scored line on the swab, Ms. Bowman" he says through the intercom. 

Wait, scored line? What scored line? How in the hell am I supposed to see a scored line with this swab up my nose. 

I'm panicking now and just as I am about to pull out that swab he says, "That's good. Now leave it there for 15 seconds." 

Wait what! 15 whole seconds. He's got to be kidding but he isn't because he holds up a timer. 

15 seconds is a helluva long time. Then his voice again, "Now turn the swab...roll it between your fingers 4 or 5 times. 

This has GOT TO BE a joke! But I do it and then he says, pull it out.

When I do...well let's just say, I swear I pulled some of my brain out. Well, I didn't really but I pulled something out of my nose and then he says, "Now insert the swab into your other nostril."

I swear I gagged, I really did. 

Now I have to put this nasty swab in my other nostril and do the same thing. 

Clearly I do because I look over and he is holding up the timer again. What I would like to do with that timer!

He then tells me to put the swab into the vial and to break it off at the score mark. 

I'm more than happy to do that. This torture is almost over. 

I catch a glimpse of him and he looks pretty disgusted too. Maybe he got a look at that stuff hanging off of my swab. Yeah..it was totally gross!

I put it in the baggie and then he LOUDLY says, "Put it in the bin and MAKE SURE YOU WIPE IT DOWN AFTER YOU DO."

Like dude...really. I felt just like a leper at that point. Good thing I was in my car and my windows are tinted. I wouldn't want anyone being able to identify that leper driving away.

He says it will take 2 days to get my results. 

So now...

I wait.

IT'S JUST A COLD....OR IS IT

 January 28th, I wake up with a stuffy nose. 

Nothing major; just a stuffy nose. I cough a couple of times but it's the tiredness that I can't shake.

I go about my day and decide to go to the grocery store. After getting dressed, I am to tired to go outside. 

Literally, I can't bring myself to walk about 20 steps out of my house to get into the car. I try at least three times and then I give up.

This is stupid I think but I figure I have more things to do in the house and decide to clean. 

I clean the blinds, drapes and then begin to re-arrange the living room. Halfway through I'm to tired to go on. I lay down.

That is major because I never, ever, ever lie down in the middle of the day. 

Before long, I wake up and see that three hours have passed. 

What in the entire world is going on? I NEVER sleep during the day like that. But I'm glad because I feel slightly better and have just enough energy to go to the store.

Right?

Wrong? 

I get into the grocery store and my legs feel like they have been weighed down by 200 lb weights.

Is this is what it feels like when the mob gets ahold of you? Lawd, I feel sorry for those men back in the 50's.

The day progresses but now I'm sneezing more and the cough is becoming pretty aggravating. 

Damn, I'm coming down with a cold. That's the last thing I need. 

I blame him...but I'm joking so I push on but the next few hours become pure torture.

It's January 31st and I am not feeling any better. 

I decide to call my doctor and he tells me to take a Covid-19 test. I make the appointment and things begin to go downhill pretty quickly.

 

IT BEGAN AS A HEADACHE

 On January 18, I believe that it when it all started. 

Due to the fact that I barely sleep because of insomnia, I rarely sleep. However, when I was kept up because of a headache; I couldn't understand it.

My boyfriend comes home, kisses me and says, "I have a little tickle in my throat".  Jokingly I say, "is that a corona virus symptom?" We both laugh and I make him some tea.

Because he never gets sick, it concerns me but I don't really say anything. After drinking his tea, he says he has the chills. But he always has some sort of chills; it's just how his body works. 

He gets into bed around 7pm and I decide to take his temperature. It reads 100.1. Since I used to work at a school; I know this is a low grade fever but he never listens to me. He says he's ok and goes to sleep. He sleeps all night. I wake him up one time and take his temperature again and it reads; 100.9. I tell him he has a fever and he drinks some water and goes back to sleep. I'm worried because it's a fever but he doesn't want to admit it. 

I go about my evening and decide to write. After about two hours, I couldn't come up with anything, which never happens and I put my computer down because my headache was back. It was if someone was squeezing my brain from the inside and it was pushing out through my ears. 

My ears became clogged and then the headache went away after I blew my nose. 

Why is a headache keeping me up? I did what most people did. I took an ALEVE and waited. Four hours later, I was still waiting. 

So I then took two Advil and waited again. Four more hours went by so I gave up and just used ice compresses, which by the way, didn't work either!

He gets up at 4:30 am and says he feels much better and goes to work. I tell him to take his temperature and it is 98.7. I'm satisfied that he is better but I'm up too because the headache just won't let me sleep and I find a new comedy on Hallmark, REBA. Who knew that country singer was so funny AND that she had a show! I digress.

So the day moves on and the headache finally leaves. He is fine and all is right with the world until Jan. 26th.

I'm exhausted. I mean, like can barely move exhausted. I am talking to a friend and tell him that I'm tired and he says, "stop being superwoman and just stay in bed. Relax and do nothing today." I tell him I will but I get up and do laundry. Normally it takes just a couple of hours but it literally took me about 5 hours to do two loads of clothes. Between every load, I had to lay down. When I heard the buzzer go off, it took me another hour just to get the energy to get up from the couch and take them from the washer. 

My boyfriend comes home and notices how tired "I look" and suggests I just rest. Nope; can't do that because there is dinner to cook and clothes to fold and put away. I continue to drag myself around, secretly wishing that I had a maid to do all this but pushing myself to continue. I ask him how he is feeling and he says, "never felt better. I guess I had a 24 hour bug or something". He asks how I'm feeling and I tell him that I just can't seem to find the energy and he tells me the same thing my friend says; stop getting up so early and just rest tomorrow. Stay in bed and get some rest because you do look tired. 

If only it was that simple.

LIFE HAS CHANGED

What began as a cold, well what I thought was a cold, is actually Covid-19. 

During the coming weeks, I will blog about how I think I contracted it. 

It started with a headache and sore throat and went downhill from there. 

That date was January 18, 2021.

I will also blog about what life is like when you have Covid-19.

If you think it is as simple as being in isolation; you are so wrong.

This is my journey and not everyone's journey is the same with this dreaded disease. 

Every week I will blog about the ups and the downs. The good, the bad and the very ugly.

Please take a look, read, share and offer suggestions on how to best deal with boredom.

Sure as an author; you would think I could use this time to write but in the coming weeks, you will see why that is not really possible.

For example; It has taken me four days to write this small blog. Why? Your memory, or at least mine, is totally trashed.

BACK TO LIFE

I suffered the loss of my brother on November 6. He died alone in a hospital in NC because Covid regulations didn't allow anyone to visit. He died hours after me telling him that I was on my way. He died and left a hole in my life. 

My world was turned upside down and my life was forever changed.

My brother and I didn't have the normal sister/brother relationship.

What we had was special to no one but us.

We didn't speak every day or every week. However, when we spoke, it was as if we had never missed a day.

He teased me and I teased him.

He was the typical big brother.

My life has been changed without him in it.

Thanksgiving came and I was awaiting my call. The call that would start off with, "what did you cook baby girl." and end with, "next year you need to be here so you can have some of my good cooking." That call never came.

Christmas came and again, I was awaiting my call. "The call that began with, "did you mail my gift" and would end with me saying, "next year you need to be here." That call never came.

I was angry.

Angry that my boyfriend could see all of his sisters and brothers. I was angry that my brother was not here and that my sister was of no help to me in this time of need.

I was feeling alone and I was in need of the kind of emotional help that my family could give me; however that wasn't happening.

And then came my girlfriend. Brenda. She texted me and we talked for almost two hours. Two hours of crying, laughing, being angry and being told that it was ok. 

She let me know that it was ok that I was angry. It was ok to feel alone and it was certainly ok to want just one more day. 

Brenda came to my rescue. Brenda was my savior and Brenda was the ONLY person who bothered to listen to me. Who didn't rush me off of the phone when I began crying. Didn't rush me to push past my grief. 

Brenda was my savior. 

Not the women that I thought were my friends. Not the people I had been a shoulder to in the past. Not the people that I would do anything for to make them feel better. But Brenda, the woman I met though my ex husband. Brenda the woman who became my sister. 

I thank Brenda for the calls, texts and the listening ear. 

I also thank Brenda for showing me what real friendship is. I thank for her showing me who I needed to cut off and who could remain in my small circle of acquaintance's.

I'm back to life and I am living each day with my brother as my angel. I am back to life and I am living my life like I want to and I am living each day like it's my last. 

My brother taught me to live each day to it's full enjoyment. He may have died alone but he lived around his friends who are missing him dearly and who feel his absence every single day. 

THE FIRST TO LIE

I won this contest about two weeks ago and was ecstatic! 

I didn't see it until the last day of the contest and was the last entry. 

Wouldn't you know I won! 

I had a fan girl moment! Hank Phillippi Ryan is one of those authors that I would follow around the country on her book tour. Not like a stalker, mind you, but like a true super fan!

So to win an advanced copy of her latest novel, BEFORE it hit the bookshelves was an honor and a privilege. 

The First To Lie is one of those; I think I know who is lying but then it turns out not to be who you thought it was! 

The saying, Liar, liar pants on fire; truly applies to this novel.

Ryan has twisted the story so much that you get lost in the characters and lost down the rabbit hole and you then start to question whether you would lie to get what you wanted. Or have you lied to get what you have?

This novel leaves you guessing, guessing and then gasping when the truth is finally unearthed.

You better grab this novel quick but don't plan on getting any rest. This novel will keep your mind racing until the end and then it will jolt you the conclusion.

Pick up your copy today.