IT BEGAN AS A HEADACHE

 On January 18, I believe that it when it all started. 

Due to the fact that I barely sleep because of insomnia, I rarely sleep. However, when I was kept up because of a headache; I couldn't understand it.

My boyfriend comes home, kisses me and says, "I have a little tickle in my throat".  Jokingly I say, "is that a corona virus symptom?" We both laugh and I make him some tea.

Because he never gets sick, it concerns me but I don't really say anything. After drinking his tea, he says he has the chills. But he always has some sort of chills; it's just how his body works. 

He gets into bed around 7pm and I decide to take his temperature. It reads 100.1. Since I used to work at a school; I know this is a low grade fever but he never listens to me. He says he's ok and goes to sleep. He sleeps all night. I wake him up one time and take his temperature again and it reads; 100.9. I tell him he has a fever and he drinks some water and goes back to sleep. I'm worried because it's a fever but he doesn't want to admit it. 

I go about my evening and decide to write. After about two hours, I couldn't come up with anything, which never happens and I put my computer down because my headache was back. It was if someone was squeezing my brain from the inside and it was pushing out through my ears. 

My ears became clogged and then the headache went away after I blew my nose. 

Why is a headache keeping me up? I did what most people did. I took an ALEVE and waited. Four hours later, I was still waiting. 

So I then took two Advil and waited again. Four more hours went by so I gave up and just used ice compresses, which by the way, didn't work either!

He gets up at 4:30 am and says he feels much better and goes to work. I tell him to take his temperature and it is 98.7. I'm satisfied that he is better but I'm up too because the headache just won't let me sleep and I find a new comedy on Hallmark, REBA. Who knew that country singer was so funny AND that she had a show! I digress.

So the day moves on and the headache finally leaves. He is fine and all is right with the world until Jan. 26th.

I'm exhausted. I mean, like can barely move exhausted. I am talking to a friend and tell him that I'm tired and he says, "stop being superwoman and just stay in bed. Relax and do nothing today." I tell him I will but I get up and do laundry. Normally it takes just a couple of hours but it literally took me about 5 hours to do two loads of clothes. Between every load, I had to lay down. When I heard the buzzer go off, it took me another hour just to get the energy to get up from the couch and take them from the washer. 

My boyfriend comes home and notices how tired "I look" and suggests I just rest. Nope; can't do that because there is dinner to cook and clothes to fold and put away. I continue to drag myself around, secretly wishing that I had a maid to do all this but pushing myself to continue. I ask him how he is feeling and he says, "never felt better. I guess I had a 24 hour bug or something". He asks how I'm feeling and I tell him that I just can't seem to find the energy and he tells me the same thing my friend says; stop getting up so early and just rest tomorrow. Stay in bed and get some rest because you do look tired. 

If only it was that simple.

LIFE HAS CHANGED

What began as a cold, well what I thought was a cold, is actually Covid-19. 

During the coming weeks, I will blog about how I think I contracted it. 

It started with a headache and sore throat and went downhill from there. 

That date was January 18, 2021.

I will also blog about what life is like when you have Covid-19.

If you think it is as simple as being in isolation; you are so wrong.

This is my journey and not everyone's journey is the same with this dreaded disease. 

Every week I will blog about the ups and the downs. The good, the bad and the very ugly.

Please take a look, read, share and offer suggestions on how to best deal with boredom.

Sure as an author; you would think I could use this time to write but in the coming weeks, you will see why that is not really possible.

For example; It has taken me four days to write this small blog. Why? Your memory, or at least mine, is totally trashed.

DOWN BUT NOT OUT

I am a very private person. I don't share much but this week I feel it necessary to share some things that many people don't know.

Late last year, I mentioned that I had some health issues. Well those health issues reared ALL of their heads last week.

Not only am I dealing with a heart issue but for the past year, I have been dealing with gastrointestinal cancer. (Stomach cancer in normal terms)

This has caused me to do a number of things.

First, I stepped down as the marketing director of Intrigue Publishing. I give of all of myself when I am marketing and when this diagnosis came, I felt that it (Cancer) needed my total focus. I didn't want to slight my authors and I didn't want to turn my back on this 'new' medical issue.

Second, I took a break from writing. Not on my blog but on my novels. I found that my energy level wasn't the same and I wasn't able to sit for hours at a computer but was able to do it in short bursts.

Third, I began chemo and radiation treatments and my final one was on Jan. 17, 2017. To celebrate, we took a cruise. We had an adventure in Falmouth, Jamaica that NONE of us will ever forget. #PricelessMemories

Four, I began plans for my dream home. Many of you have heard me talk about tiny living and this is one thing that I MUST have before my moment in this life is gone. 

Fifth, with this newest health issue, I am now beginning to see life in a different way.

My children and I have come to terms with all that is happening right now and there will be long, hard conversations that need to be had. However, I know that we will get through this.

I have two men in my life and four women that I know will always encourage me.+Austin Alex, Denise, Susan, Debbie and Carmin. (My closet circle) and my girl, my skittle +Paula Lanier

I'm living life slower. I'm living each day with laughs and smiles and I am cutting my stress levels down. No one can live a stress free life but you can alter the way you handle the stress that comes at us each day.

I don't know how I am going to get my tiny home. Why? Because no banks will finance it. No loans can be taken out for it and most tiny home builders expect full payment.

My tiny home will cost me about $32K; of which I don't have but I know that I will have my tiny home before the end of the year. Why? Because I believe that what is meant for me; is for me.

So why do I tell you all of this?

I decided that being a private person is OK but sharing, with the people close to you, is also OK.

I share this to give you a glimpse into my world. I share this, not for sympathy, but for transparency.

I'm living my life like it's Golden. I am cherishing each and every moment I have here and I am not wasting any time dwelling on what I don't have.

I am focusing on what I have. Right now; in this moment, I have a circle of people around me that love me like it's my last day.

And for that. I thank you. 

GOING TINY AND BEING AN AUTHOR...AM I CRAZY?

Many people don't understand my love with going tiny.

I'll try and explain it to you.

First, 2016 was a very interesting year. On top of medical issues that would have sidelined most people; I was able to continue to work, write and enjoy life. (It wasn't easy but I refused to give in to the illness)

In the latter part of 2016, I came to the conclusion that I don't need lots of 'stuff' to make me happy. Sure, I still need shoes, but other than that, I'm happiest when I'm in my little reading 'closet".  I took a 2x4 closet and turned it into my reading/writing nook and found that when I was in there; I was at peace and could block out all of the negative around me.

I have been fascinated by tiny homes since 2015 and began to look more closely at them in 2016. I figured I could at least do the research and find out why people choose this way of living. 

That search ended in 2016, November 12 at 5:15 am, on my way to work. I SAW a tiny house being pulled by a truck and said..wow; that looks like me. I can see myself living there. I called my partner and told him. His words were, "wow; you sound like a kid at Christmas" and I said, "I feel like I am".

I went to work and researched that company. Later that day, I needed to go to the mall and that same company was in the mall handing out brochures about their company. That was a sign to me. Actually the second sign that I needed to be in this kind of home. The third sign came when I went to Virginia to see +TinyHomesVA in Fredricksburg, Virginia. Jessica was so helpful and knowledgeable and at that moment,  it was decided. 

I am getting a tiny home.

So the search began for a builder and about a month ago I found Incredible Tiny Homes in Morristown, Tennessee. They can build my tiny but then they introduced, "Build Your Own" university. The requirements: You must dedicate seven (7) days to be at their warehouse and you must have at least four (4) build buddies and they will help you build your own. They have already had two workshops and 13 homes have been built and are now in their owners home states. Last week you read about my love affair with Regina's tiny home. I always wanted the size that she built and after seeing hers I know I made the right choice. 

Going tiny means many things to many people. To a lot of them it means economic freedom and to others it means leaving a smaller environmental footprint. To me, it means being able to be comfortable in my own space. It means, living better and freer with less bills. It means being able to travel more and it means to finally be able to write more. Being creative in a small space is such a blessing that I couldn't see myself NOT living tiny.

I know some of you won't or don't want to live tiny but for me, it's the only option for me.

For me, its about loving life and living life to the fullest and being in a tiny home is what is going to make it all worthwhile.

So continue to read about my journey here. And just so you know. The creative process is in full swing. I have just started working on another murder/drama novel and this one will prove that love doesn't conquer all.

NEVER TO EARLY

It's never to early to begin thinking about your New Year's resolutions.

This year I'm not promising to do anything except live life to the fullest. I plan on using all of the colors of the rainbow; or at the very least all of the colors in the crayon box!

With all of the terrorists acts being committed right now; you never know if walking out of your door will be the last time.

You never know if you will get to say "I'm sorry" to the person that you interrupted at work. You never know if you will get to say "I love you" to that special person in your life, whether it be your spouse/significant other, children or parents.

With everything going on in the world; its easy to give in to the fear and stay home. It would be easy to give in and not travel. It would be easy to give in and listen to whatever terror groups have to say.

Instead, this New Year; I plan to live life to the fullest. I plan to enjoy each day, each hour, each minute and each second.

I plan on laughing a lot and doing things that make me happy.

So, what do you plan on doing in the New Year?

DOES IT MATTER?

I'm asking that question today as it is my birthday and the year of Sandra.

Yes, I am making an entire year the year that I celebrate leaving my 40's. 

I always thought it mattered what people thought of me, or what people said about me. I have only begun to realize that it does not matter what they think or say of me.

Half of what people say and think about me, isn't true. However if they choose to believe it, that's on them.

Today as I celebrate my 49th birthday on this earth, I realize that I can't change the minds of anyone but myself. I can't stop people from thinking or saying negative things about me because they are going to do that anyway. All I can do is maintain who I am. I can only change the way I think, the way I act and the way I live my life.

No one will do it for me.

So today, I ask all of you.

Does it matter what people think they know of you? Does it matter what they say about you? In the end, it doesn't because only YOU have control of yourself. No one else does.

I AM BEING COURTED!

Yes, I'm being courted and my dad would be so happy. It's not that I'm a spinster or anything like that but being courted is something that every man wants for his daughter, right?

Well, my dad might be a litle disappointed to know that I am being courted by two women and a man. Actually, I guess you can say that want me to be a part of their group.

Now before you jump up and down and get yourself into a frenzy. I'm not talking about THAT kind of group; get your minds out of the gutter people. (not that's there's anything wrong with that)

I'm talking about being courted by a literary agency. That's right! Me, little ol me is being courted by one of the biggest agency's for literature and I am all aglow. (that's a word, right)

I was treated to a fancy dinner on Saturday then I got to go to a party where the First Lady was there and took note of my dress! Yes, my dress was a hit with the first lady. And let me just say this, she is really tall. I'm not short by any means, but even with my 6 inch heels on; she still had me by about 2 inches.

And, I got a car...I mean, not like Oprah, but they had a car and that is how we got to the party and I felt like Oprah or at the very least some rich spoiled kid. They laid out all that they 'could do for me' because they say I am "very marketable".

And do you want to know why this happened? It happened because of Thrillerfest! I owe all of this goodness to being at Thrillerfest and standing up and 'buzzing' my book!

I'm sure you are looking up Creatures,Crimes and Creativity right now because there will be agents there. There is still time to sign up!

So I guess you are wondering what my decision is: well I haven't made it yet. I know you are probably shouting, WHY NOT. The simple answer is: I have a lot of things to take into consideration and I don't want to jump into something that will impact the rest of my life. Just like buying a home, you have to KNOW that you want it. Oh trust me, I want it alright but they gave me two weeks to think it over...and that is exactly what I am going to do.