A DAY LIKE NO OTHER

Monday, February 8th was like no other.

Our phones never stopped ringing. The minute the results were known, his doctor called him. My doctors called me.

Covid Response Teams are at our beck and call. 

Covid Care Kits arrived within hours. Oxygen monitors, thermometers, wipes, hand sanitizer, masks. 

We have all of that. We have more than enough of that.  Do you see our stockpile? 

We were ready? So how is this possible. How can WE have Covid-19?

We went into the store with masks and gloves on. We made sure to keep Germ-X in our cars and used it like lotion. We wiped our food down when we brought it home. Every package was wiped with a disinfecting wipe. We took it out of the original package when possible. We made sure to spray LYSOL on all packages coming from AMAZON. 

We made sure that anything that came into contact with us; was wiped, sprayed and sanitized. 

I felt like we were being judged. I felt like we did something wrong. 

Wait a minute; I know I did everything right. It was the people at the store; with no masks that did this. It could have been the gas pump that I touched before I remembered my plastic gloves. Hell, it could have been the keypad that touched my credit card at the store. 

Lawd, now I need to wipe down everything in my purse. It's not enough to change my purse every time I go out. I need to now wipe down everything that was in that purse when I was out.

I need a bubble. That's what I need. 

There is nothing more that I could have done but now here we are. 

We need food for at least a week. Because he doesn't have any symptoms, he is allowed to go back to work on Tuesday, Feb. 16. 

Me on the other hand, I have to be symptom free for 24 hours and then my quarantine will begin. 

Yep; they don't tell you that on the news. 

Lucky for us, his niece calls and says she will go to the store. Lucky for us, my daughter calls and says she will go to the store. Yay! 

We feel bad about it but at the end of the day we are thankful.

His niece calls, comes to the door; masked up and he hands her the card. She leaves for the store and we are happy.

My daughter calls. "I'm outside with your food. DON'T open the door. I'm going to bring the food, leave it at your door and leave. Open the door once I'm back outside." 

I'm just happy, I comply and then I run to the window like a little kid. I knock. She sees me, she waves, I wave and I wait. I hear the knock on the door; I look back out the window and see her and then I know I can open the door. There is our food and water. 

Wait, let me wave goodbye but she is already pulling off. I stand at the window, looking like a little puppy who got left at home. 

Then I laugh. 

Because hey, if I don't, I'm going to start to cry.

THE RESULTS ARE IN

It's Monday, February 8th and the test results are in.

Recap.

I've been dealing with this nasty cold for over a week and finally gave in and called my doctor on a Friday night. I took my Covid test on Saturday, February 6 and here we are.

All caught up? 

It's now 9am and my phone dings, signaling that I have an incoming text. 

I check and see that my Covid results are in.

I open my email and see the large bright red exclamation point and the words CRITICAL in the corner.

This can't be good.

I read the words, "You have a POSITIVE Covid-19 test result"

Nope, I couldn't have read that right. So I re-read it. Over and over and over and over.

The words never changed. I couldn't believe it. I'm positive. 

Then my phone rang. MD COVID it said and so it began.

"You will be assigned a Covid response team. You will be sent a Covid Kit. You will have a nurse checking in on you every day. Do you have a way to check your oxygen level? 

Wait What. 

Do you have a way to check your oxygen levels?

Sure, I have that just lying around the house. No, no I don't have a way to do that. Should I? 

"We will send you one" 

That phone call lasted two hours. Two hours set my world upside down. Turned everything into a rush.

You need to have someone get your food for you. Do you need food? We can send you some. Do you need meds? Well not yet but we will send that to you as well. Do you need transportation? We can arrange that as well. 

I was sick enough that when I did my first oxygen check, within 2 minutes of uploading it, a nurse called and told me to immediately call 911. Instead I had him take me to the ER. 

I felt like I was in a movie. I had to go because I have asthma and because my breathing was labored. They wanted to keep me. I can't do it. I can't be alone for days at at time. 

That is where my mind went. I told my children and they started calling and sending messages, via our family chat on FB. 

Why didn't you stay? You need to go back. 

They didn't understand the terror that I felt. I wouldn't even get to see them. I couldn't have my phone because they will take it. 

No, I will go home. I want to be around things that I love and people that I love. At least I would be able to say goodbye. 

Truth be told, if I was going to die; I wanted to die at home. Not in a hospital, alone with strangers.

COVID TESTING

My doctor wants me tested ASAP. 

It's a Friday night and his office is closed but he tells me to get a test done at CVS. 

So I make the appointment and I have one for Saturday morning.

I have so much to do because I got a flat tire and need to get that fixed but I am still coughing and wheezing and sneezing like it's the middle of allergy season. I've gone through 2 full sized boxes of tissues and 4 small purse sized packages of tissues. I'm now resorting to the McDonald's napkins stuffed in my glovebox because I've run out. 

I manage to get all of the things done that I need to and make it to my appointment at CVS at 11am.

They give me the little brown bag containing my test kit. 

It consists of a long swab, a vial of some sort of liquid and a large gallon sized baggie with a sanitizing wipe in it.

The pharmacist gives me the directions on taking it and I'm terrified of sticking this thing in my nose.

"Make sure you push it up and not back." he says. "Make sure you go far enough that you bring a tear to your eye." 

Are you serious? Hmmm, how can I be sure that I am doing this right? Make my eyes water? If it's uncomfortable to do; won't I just stop SHORT of making my eyes water? Seems only natural that I wouldn't purposefully make myself cry.

It takes me about 5 minutes to decide to do this.

I take a deep breath and go in. 

"Go in as far as the scored line on the swab, Ms. Bowman" he says through the intercom. 

Wait, scored line? What scored line? How in the hell am I supposed to see a scored line with this swab up my nose. 

I'm panicking now and just as I am about to pull out that swab he says, "That's good. Now leave it there for 15 seconds." 

Wait what! 15 whole seconds. He's got to be kidding but he isn't because he holds up a timer. 

15 seconds is a helluva long time. Then his voice again, "Now turn the swab...roll it between your fingers 4 or 5 times. 

This has GOT TO BE a joke! But I do it and then he says, pull it out.

When I do...well let's just say, I swear I pulled some of my brain out. Well, I didn't really but I pulled something out of my nose and then he says, "Now insert the swab into your other nostril."

I swear I gagged, I really did. 

Now I have to put this nasty swab in my other nostril and do the same thing. 

Clearly I do because I look over and he is holding up the timer again. What I would like to do with that timer!

He then tells me to put the swab into the vial and to break it off at the score mark. 

I'm more than happy to do that. This torture is almost over. 

I catch a glimpse of him and he looks pretty disgusted too. Maybe he got a look at that stuff hanging off of my swab. Yeah..it was totally gross!

I put it in the baggie and then he LOUDLY says, "Put it in the bin and MAKE SURE YOU WIPE IT DOWN AFTER YOU DO."

Like dude...really. I felt just like a leper at that point. Good thing I was in my car and my windows are tinted. I wouldn't want anyone being able to identify that leper driving away.

He says it will take 2 days to get my results. 

So now...

I wait.

I LOVE MYSELF, DO YOU?

Yes, I heard someone on the radio say that this morning.

Do you love yourself? Some say it is selfish and some say its is being self centered.

What is wrong with that?

We can show love to our children, our friends, family and some co-workers but when it comes to ourselves; we often over look the obvious.

Sometimes you have to take a day to be selfish. Do something you want to do.

Go to the park, by yourself. Enjoy that picnic that you made especially for you. Oh wait, you don't like deviled eggs...doesn't matter. I do!

Go to the movies and see that thriller, romance or comedy that only YOU want to see. Oh wait, you don't want to go. Good, I wasn't going to invite you.

Go out to the bar and treat yourself to a Martini, Red Wine or just sit and listen and watch the people. Oh wait, you don't want to go. Good, wasn't asking you.

See sometimes we NEED to be selfish.

Call off from work. Take a mental day. Yes, those are what those sick days can be used for. What good is your job when you are stressed in it and can't stay home in the bed to rejuvenate yourself.

Pick a day to do this:
1. Sleep late. Turn off your phone, alarms and all other noise making gadgets.
2. Walk around in your pajamas as long as you want to. (or nude depending on your mood)
3. Don't shave, comb your hair or brush your teeth. (Hey, its your day)
4. When you do decide to get dressed, take yourself out for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Your choice and make sure it is to a place you want to go to.
5. Take a selfie of yourself doing something you want to do. (you will want to remember how much fun you had so you can do this next month too)
6. Don't feel guilty

See that last thing is most important. We often feel guilty for doing things for ourselves. DON'T.

We are entitled to it. 

We work hard all other days of the month, week and year. Giving yourself one day is not going to hurt anyone.

Imagine if you do this once a month. 

Your co-workers, kids, husband/partner and friends will notice a difference in you. Your step will be lighter. Your mood will be high and your energy will be off the charts.

Just try it once. I dare you! 

I'm having my day today! Today is the day that I am going to be selfish. After all; 

I deserve it!