THE RESULTS ARE IN

It's Monday, February 8th and the test results are in.

Recap.

I've been dealing with this nasty cold for over a week and finally gave in and called my doctor on a Friday night. I took my Covid test on Saturday, February 6 and here we are.

All caught up? 

It's now 9am and my phone dings, signaling that I have an incoming text. 

I check and see that my Covid results are in.

I open my email and see the large bright red exclamation point and the words CRITICAL in the corner.

This can't be good.

I read the words, "You have a POSITIVE Covid-19 test result"

Nope, I couldn't have read that right. So I re-read it. Over and over and over and over.

The words never changed. I couldn't believe it. I'm positive. 

Then my phone rang. MD COVID it said and so it began.

"You will be assigned a Covid response team. You will be sent a Covid Kit. You will have a nurse checking in on you every day. Do you have a way to check your oxygen level? 

Wait What. 

Do you have a way to check your oxygen levels?

Sure, I have that just lying around the house. No, no I don't have a way to do that. Should I? 

"We will send you one" 

That phone call lasted two hours. Two hours set my world upside down. Turned everything into a rush.

You need to have someone get your food for you. Do you need food? We can send you some. Do you need meds? Well not yet but we will send that to you as well. Do you need transportation? We can arrange that as well. 

I was sick enough that when I did my first oxygen check, within 2 minutes of uploading it, a nurse called and told me to immediately call 911. Instead I had him take me to the ER. 

I felt like I was in a movie. I had to go because I have asthma and because my breathing was labored. They wanted to keep me. I can't do it. I can't be alone for days at at time. 

That is where my mind went. I told my children and they started calling and sending messages, via our family chat on FB. 

Why didn't you stay? You need to go back. 

They didn't understand the terror that I felt. I wouldn't even get to see them. I couldn't have my phone because they will take it. 

No, I will go home. I want to be around things that I love and people that I love. At least I would be able to say goodbye. 

Truth be told, if I was going to die; I wanted to die at home. Not in a hospital, alone with strangers.