IT BEGAN AS A HEADACHE

 On January 18, I believe that it when it all started. 

Due to the fact that I barely sleep because of insomnia, I rarely sleep. However, when I was kept up because of a headache; I couldn't understand it.

My boyfriend comes home, kisses me and says, "I have a little tickle in my throat".  Jokingly I say, "is that a corona virus symptom?" We both laugh and I make him some tea.

Because he never gets sick, it concerns me but I don't really say anything. After drinking his tea, he says he has the chills. But he always has some sort of chills; it's just how his body works. 

He gets into bed around 7pm and I decide to take his temperature. It reads 100.1. Since I used to work at a school; I know this is a low grade fever but he never listens to me. He says he's ok and goes to sleep. He sleeps all night. I wake him up one time and take his temperature again and it reads; 100.9. I tell him he has a fever and he drinks some water and goes back to sleep. I'm worried because it's a fever but he doesn't want to admit it. 

I go about my evening and decide to write. After about two hours, I couldn't come up with anything, which never happens and I put my computer down because my headache was back. It was if someone was squeezing my brain from the inside and it was pushing out through my ears. 

My ears became clogged and then the headache went away after I blew my nose. 

Why is a headache keeping me up? I did what most people did. I took an ALEVE and waited. Four hours later, I was still waiting. 

So I then took two Advil and waited again. Four more hours went by so I gave up and just used ice compresses, which by the way, didn't work either!

He gets up at 4:30 am and says he feels much better and goes to work. I tell him to take his temperature and it is 98.7. I'm satisfied that he is better but I'm up too because the headache just won't let me sleep and I find a new comedy on Hallmark, REBA. Who knew that country singer was so funny AND that she had a show! I digress.

So the day moves on and the headache finally leaves. He is fine and all is right with the world until Jan. 26th.

I'm exhausted. I mean, like can barely move exhausted. I am talking to a friend and tell him that I'm tired and he says, "stop being superwoman and just stay in bed. Relax and do nothing today." I tell him I will but I get up and do laundry. Normally it takes just a couple of hours but it literally took me about 5 hours to do two loads of clothes. Between every load, I had to lay down. When I heard the buzzer go off, it took me another hour just to get the energy to get up from the couch and take them from the washer. 

My boyfriend comes home and notices how tired "I look" and suggests I just rest. Nope; can't do that because there is dinner to cook and clothes to fold and put away. I continue to drag myself around, secretly wishing that I had a maid to do all this but pushing myself to continue. I ask him how he is feeling and he says, "never felt better. I guess I had a 24 hour bug or something". He asks how I'm feeling and I tell him that I just can't seem to find the energy and he tells me the same thing my friend says; stop getting up so early and just rest tomorrow. Stay in bed and get some rest because you do look tired. 

If only it was that simple.

LIFE HAS CHANGED

What began as a cold, well what I thought was a cold, is actually Covid-19. 

During the coming weeks, I will blog about how I think I contracted it. 

It started with a headache and sore throat and went downhill from there. 

That date was January 18, 2021.

I will also blog about what life is like when you have Covid-19.

If you think it is as simple as being in isolation; you are so wrong.

This is my journey and not everyone's journey is the same with this dreaded disease. 

Every week I will blog about the ups and the downs. The good, the bad and the very ugly.

Please take a look, read, share and offer suggestions on how to best deal with boredom.

Sure as an author; you would think I could use this time to write but in the coming weeks, you will see why that is not really possible.

For example; It has taken me four days to write this small blog. Why? Your memory, or at least mine, is totally trashed.

BACK TO LIFE

I suffered the loss of my brother on November 6. He died alone in a hospital in NC because Covid regulations didn't allow anyone to visit. He died hours after me telling him that I was on my way. He died and left a hole in my life. 

My world was turned upside down and my life was forever changed.

My brother and I didn't have the normal sister/brother relationship.

What we had was special to no one but us.

We didn't speak every day or every week. However, when we spoke, it was as if we had never missed a day.

He teased me and I teased him.

He was the typical big brother.

My life has been changed without him in it.

Thanksgiving came and I was awaiting my call. The call that would start off with, "what did you cook baby girl." and end with, "next year you need to be here so you can have some of my good cooking." That call never came.

Christmas came and again, I was awaiting my call. "The call that began with, "did you mail my gift" and would end with me saying, "next year you need to be here." That call never came.

I was angry.

Angry that my boyfriend could see all of his sisters and brothers. I was angry that my brother was not here and that my sister was of no help to me in this time of need.

I was feeling alone and I was in need of the kind of emotional help that my family could give me; however that wasn't happening.

And then came my girlfriend. Brenda. She texted me and we talked for almost two hours. Two hours of crying, laughing, being angry and being told that it was ok. 

She let me know that it was ok that I was angry. It was ok to feel alone and it was certainly ok to want just one more day. 

Brenda came to my rescue. Brenda was my savior and Brenda was the ONLY person who bothered to listen to me. Who didn't rush me off of the phone when I began crying. Didn't rush me to push past my grief. 

Brenda was my savior. 

Not the women that I thought were my friends. Not the people I had been a shoulder to in the past. Not the people that I would do anything for to make them feel better. But Brenda, the woman I met though my ex husband. Brenda the woman who became my sister. 

I thank Brenda for the calls, texts and the listening ear. 

I also thank Brenda for showing me what real friendship is. I thank for her showing me who I needed to cut off and who could remain in my small circle of acquaintance's.

I'm back to life and I am living each day with my brother as my angel. I am back to life and I am living my life like I want to and I am living each day like it's my last. 

My brother taught me to live each day to it's full enjoyment. He may have died alone but he lived around his friends who are missing him dearly and who feel his absence every single day. 

THE FIRST TO LIE

I won this contest about two weeks ago and was ecstatic! 

I didn't see it until the last day of the contest and was the last entry. 

Wouldn't you know I won! 

I had a fan girl moment! Hank Phillippi Ryan is one of those authors that I would follow around the country on her book tour. Not like a stalker, mind you, but like a true super fan!

So to win an advanced copy of her latest novel, BEFORE it hit the bookshelves was an honor and a privilege. 

The First To Lie is one of those; I think I know who is lying but then it turns out not to be who you thought it was! 

The saying, Liar, liar pants on fire; truly applies to this novel.

Ryan has twisted the story so much that you get lost in the characters and lost down the rabbit hole and you then start to question whether you would lie to get what you wanted. Or have you lied to get what you have?

This novel leaves you guessing, guessing and then gasping when the truth is finally unearthed.

You better grab this novel quick but don't plan on getting any rest. This novel will keep your mind racing until the end and then it will jolt you the conclusion.

Pick up your copy today. 

8 MINUTES AND 46 SECONDS

No one knew exactly how long that was until George Floyd was murdered.

Eight minutes and 46 seconds. 

Have you sat for that long? Have you timed it?

I did.

It's a helluva a long time.

It is almost 4 commercial radio songs. 

It is 8 commercials on TV. 

It is 16  thirty second commercials on TV.  

It is half of a quarter of football. 

It is almost a full quarter in basketball.

It is microwaving 3 bags of popcorn. 

It is how long pasta needs to cook to be al dente.

That is a long time to kneel.

I tried that as well. I could barely get up after kneeling for that long.

If you haven't sat still and timed it; I challenge you to do it now.

Eight minutes and 46 seconds it how long it took for someone to take a life.

Think about that the next time we are standing in line for two minutes. Think about that when we are waiting for that latte at Starbucks. Think about that when that red light catches us.

Eight minutes and 46 seconds is how long it took for George Floyd to lose his life.

Everything else doesn't seem that important now, does it?

I CAN'T BREATH

That's what  he was saying before he died.

That is what we all have been saying as a country this week.

That is what we shall continue to say for months and years to come.

The question I have...How long will the protests go on? How long with this be the ''in'' protest? How long will our young people raise up their voices?

For so long, the pandemic took control of our lives, our media and our social networks. 

Now this has our attention, but for how long?

This type of brutality happens almost weekly and yet we are not out marching and raising our voices.

This type of brutality happens in the black community daily. It may not lead to murder but it leads to false arrests, it leads to broken bones or fractured nerves. It leads to black men and black women being afraid to leave their homes and cross paths with certain officers.

Black lives matter but so do the brown lives, the homeless lives and all lives.

We, Black Americans, have become used to treatment like this. Which is so sad. 

The difference is; now there are camera's to record what we have been saying for years. 

That we are treated differently than our white neighbors, friends and sometimes white family members.

When will America listen?

The protests are NOT just about George Floyd. It is about the human rights of Black Americans.

The civil rights of black Americans have always been of concern.

Now you have the military involved. Look at pictures from the 60's, are these the times we are about to experience? 

I surely hope not.

We have much to do on this issue and being silent is no longer an option.

AUTHORS DURING THE PANDEMIC

For the last three Fridays, I have been going to a bar.

I have listened to some amazing authors read from their works or read from short stories that they have written.

All of this would not be possible if not for the ingenuous or maybe it's just crazy, mind of  +EdAymer. 

He is the mastermind behind Noir At The Bar. Something he has done for a while and what used to be hosted at a bar in DC.

Well since the pandemic and ''stay at  home'' orders were issued, he has still hosted his events at the bar.

Well, virtual bar that is.

He has had an INCREDIBLE line up of authors.

He even has a pianist and mixologist.

Every Friday, ranging from 8pm to 9pm, there have been at least six authors reading.

Everything from thriller to mysteries.

At it's peak there have been over 200 people at this virtual Noir At The Bar.

Where else can you interact with other people, listen to great readings and enjoy leaning how to make new drinks and hear some amazing music.

Who says you have to go out to enjoy every luxury that your local bar can give you?

If you aren't doing anything on Friday, why not join us for Episode 4 of  +NoirAtTheBar at 8pm. There will be more authors, more fun and you never know what can happen. Join us and see just how much fun we are having while still staying home.

Social Distance? Sure, we can handle that hand's down. Check out some of the authors that have attended and read for us.

+AustinCamacho +MattIden +ZackPowers +RoseSolari +TaraCampbell +JohnCopenhaver all joined us; just to name a few.