Thursday, August 10, 2017

OBSERVATIONS

I have been very observant in the last few weeks.

Having a very high blood pressure makes you take notice of small things.

Not that I want to do that but I've been trying to find out the cause.

1. I learned that I am a high energy person. 
With high blood pressure sometimes that high energy is not a good thing. 

2. I learned that I breath slower when I'm stressed. 
Most people breath rapidly during a stressful period. For some reason I like to be different.

3. I learned that I write the best erotic/sexual scenes when I'm stressed.
Hmmm, is that a good thing or a bad thing.

4. I learned that I like mystery and thriller novels.
Yep, I am a staunch book reader and now I'm widening my book reading library.

5. I learned that no matter how small my house is, I'll always have books.
Yep, now re-working those tiny house plans because I need space for my books.

6. I learned that people that SAY they are in your corner and who SAY they will support you, don't.
Yes, this was one of the hardest lessons to learn. 

If you aren't going to support that local author, or that friend, stop saying you will. We don't need to hear it. We would rather know it.

See the difference is that everyone wants to feel like they can do something. If you can't do something, you can't do it. But when you say, out loud, that you will. Now that is where the problem lies.

You have backed yourself into a corner. Stop saying what you think they want to hear and just say what they need to hear.

"Yes, I'd like to buy that book but I don't really have time to read." "Yes, I'd like to donate but really don't have any money." "Yes, I'd like to come but I really just want to stay home and relax".

See, it's not that hard. 

Observe what people say and then act accordingly. 

That's what I do now and it's leading to less stress for me.

Monday, July 17, 2017

STRESS RELIEVER

My health depends on me not being stressed.

It's getting harder and harder to do that. 

Life is a stress. Driving is a stress. Relationships are stressful. Hell, going into a store is stress nowadays.

You never know what you will encounter when you leave the safety of your home.

What I do know is this. My stress becomes almost non existent when I begin writing. 

My stress is poured into the pages of my writing and actually makes me happy.

Stress writing is what I call it and some of the words that come out during those times are simply, amazing!

I don't look at what I have written during my 'stress writing' but when I do, I am truly in awe of myself.

Yes, I even pat myself on the back because it's like, where did THAT come from. 

The only drawback of 'stress writing' is that I can't duplicate it. Once that stress has been alleviated, it's gone and I can't get back into that flow of 'writing'. I have to pick up the writing and make it work from that point on.

But lucky for me; every day brings new 'stress' and a new chance to 'stress write.' 

Did I mention wine is also a great stress reliever? Yep, that helps in my writing too but that's another blog later this week.

Do you stress write or what do you do as an author to relieve your stress?


Thursday, July 13, 2017

IS IT WORTH IT?

My tiny house plans
I have started a GoFundMe page to try and raise funds for my tiny house?

Why?

Because I have run up against a brick wall and this is the only way I know how to get around it.

I am not asking for a hand out. If I could get a loan for it, I most definitely would. Banks don't give loans for tiny houses. I've tried and the most they would give me is $10K which still leaves me needing $20K.

I started the page on the suggestion of someone else. They said, "you have friends that would help you realize your dream" and I am hoping they are right.

What can I offer in return?

You may get to name my house. That's right! All tiny houses have names and I want mine to be something that fits me and my house.

If you donate; you get to submit a name and if your name is chosen, you get a framed photo and your name engraved within my home.

It will always remind me that my friends are the ones who helped me realize my dream.

So, is it worth it?

You better bet it.

Here is the link if you want to help me fund my tiny house.

Don't worry if you can't, I'll still be the same person you have grown to at least like. Click below if you want to read and donate to my tiny house.

Tiny House


Wednesday, July 12, 2017

I LOVE MYSELF, DO YOU?

Yes, I heard someone on the radio say that this morning.

Do you love yourself? Some say it is selfish and some say its is being self centered.

What is wrong with that?

We can show love to our children, our friends, family and some co-workers but when it comes to ourselves; we often over look the obvious.

Sometimes you have to take a day to be selfish. Do something you want to do.

Go to the park, by yourself. Enjoy that picnic that you made especially for you. Oh wait, you don't like deviled eggs...doesn't matter. I do!

Go to the movies and see that thriller, romance or comedy that only YOU want to see. Oh wait, you don't want to go. Good, I wasn't going to invite you.

Go out to the bar and treat yourself to a Martini, Red Wine or just sit and listen and watch the people. Oh wait, you don't want to go. Good, wasn't asking you.

See sometimes we NEED to be selfish.

Call off from work. Take a mental day. Yes, those are what those sick days can be used for. What good is your job when you are stressed in it and can't stay home in the bed to rejuvenate yourself.

Pick a day to do this:
1. Sleep late. Turn off your phone, alarms and all other noise making gadgets.
2. Walk around in your pajamas as long as you want to. (or nude depending on your mood)
3. Don't shave, comb your hair or brush your teeth. (Hey, its your day)
4. When you do decide to get dressed, take yourself out for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Your choice and make sure it is to a place you want to go to.
5. Take a selfie of yourself doing something you want to do. (you will want to remember how much fun you had so you can do this next month too)
6. Don't feel guilty

See that last thing is most important. We often feel guilty for doing things for ourselves. DON'T.

We are entitled to it. 

We work hard all other days of the month, week and year. Giving yourself one day is not going to hurt anyone.

Imagine if you do this once a month. 

Your co-workers, kids, husband/partner and friends will notice a difference in you. Your step will be lighter. Your mood will be high and your energy will be off the charts.

Just try it once. I dare you! 

I'm having my day today! Today is the day that I am going to be selfish. After all; 

I deserve it!

Thursday, June 15, 2017

DOWN BUT NOT OUT

I am a very private person. I don't share much but this week I feel it necessary to share some things that many people don't know.

Late last year, I mentioned that I had some health issues. Well those health issues reared ALL of their heads last week.

Not only am I dealing with a heart issue but for the past year, I have been dealing with gastrointestinal cancer. (Stomach cancer in normal terms)

This has caused me to do a number of things.

First, I stepped down as the marketing director of Intrigue Publishing. I give of all of myself when I am marketing and when this diagnosis came, I felt that it (Cancer) needed my total focus. I didn't want to slight my authors and I didn't want to turn my back on this 'new' medical issue.

Second, I took a break from writing. Not on my blog but on my novels. I found that my energy level wasn't the same and I wasn't able to sit for hours at a computer but was able to do it in short bursts.

Third, I began chemo and radiation treatments and my final one was on Jan. 17, 2017. To celebrate, we took a cruise. We had an adventure in Falmouth, Jamaica that NONE of us will ever forget. #PricelessMemories

Four, I began plans for my dream home. Many of you have heard me talk about tiny living and this is one thing that I MUST have before my moment in this life is gone. 

Fifth, with this newest health issue, I am now beginning to see life in a different way.

My children and I have come to terms with all that is happening right now and there will be long, hard conversations that need to be had. However, I know that we will get through this.

I have two men in my life and four women that I know will always encourage me.+Austin Alex, Denise, Susan, Debbie and Carmin. (My closet circle) and my girl, my skittle +Paula Lanier

I'm living life slower. I'm living each day with laughs and smiles and I am cutting my stress levels down. No one can live a stress free life but you can alter the way you handle the stress that comes at us each day.

I don't know how I am going to get my tiny home. Why? Because no banks will finance it. No loans can be taken out for it and most tiny home builders expect full payment.

My tiny home will cost me about $32K; of which I don't have but I know that I will have my tiny home before the end of the year. Why? Because I believe that what is meant for me; is for me.

So why do I tell you all of this?

I decided that being a private person is OK but sharing, with the people close to you, is also OK.

I share this to give you a glimpse into my world. I share this, not for sympathy, but for transparency.

I'm living my life like it's Golden. I am cherishing each and every moment I have here and I am not wasting any time dwelling on what I don't have.

I am focusing on what I have. Right now; in this moment, I have a circle of people around me that love me like it's my last day.

And for that. I thank you. 

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

SLOW DOWN AND ENJOY EACH DAY

Last week my day had begun like all others. Except for one difference.

It was one day until summer was going to begin and I was going to have my office to myself.

I greeted the day like I normally do. With my Chai Tea and was laughing with co-workers when I began to feel "weird".

Weird in a bad way, like I needed to take a deeper breath. Weird in the way that you feel when your asthma is going to cause you problems during the day. No matter, I was getting used to it since the heat wave had gripped the DC area earlier in the month.

I decided to give my gut feeling a nod and go check with my nurse. Just for my own satisfaction.

She checked my blood pressure and was 'a little concerned' but not overly. She gave me some aspirin and told me to come back.

A little backstory: I rely on my school nurses and trust them over anyone I have every talked to. Even my own doctors.

When I went back at 10:12 AM, she took my blood pressure again and said, "Go to Patient First, right now".  I walked back to my office and gathered my things and said, "Apparently I need to go to Patient First".

I walked in, sat down but my school nurse had already called. They came and got me and while performing the 'check in process' the nurse came and said, "We are going to send you to the closet hospital".

Two days later, I was released after having a cardiac emergency.

I tell you this for one reason. No matter what you are doing in your life, SLOW DOWN and ENJOY each day.

Not knowing if you are going to walk out of a hospital is a very sobering thought.

Being put on a heart monitor and taking blood pressure readings six times a day, along with Heparin injections and nitrogylcerin pills is also the sign that you need to slow down.

My writing will continue and so will my tiny house build but I am enjoying each day and nothing is more important to me, right now in this moment, than slowing down and realizing that I was given a few more moments to enjoy the world around me.

Friday, June 2, 2017

WE ARE HALF WAY THERE

What happened?

I look around and it's New Year's day 2017 and now, just like that, we are 6 months into the year.

We are now half way to 2018.

Half you accomplished at least HALF of what you said you were going to do on New Year's day?

I am not talking about resolutions. Well maybe I am but some of you set goals in place for the new year.

Was it your goal to be writing at least once a day. Was it your goal to start a new marketing plan?
Was it to blog more? Was it to read more books? Was it to try a new author every month? Was it to set up that website you were putting off?

What were your author goals for 2017?

If you haven't started them, it's not to late.

We still have half of the year to go.

Why not start now.