There are worst things that I could have become but the worst thing for me, is becoming my father. See, you don't understand.
See for me, I would say to myself "I am never going to say that" whenever he said something crazy to me. he would sometimes say, "If it were a snake, it would have bitten you." when I couldn't find anything. It wasn't like I was asking him to FIND whatever I was looking for. I was simply making an announcement.
First of all, I hate snakes and he knew it, yet he said it all the time when I said, "dad, I can't find............(fill in the blank)
Secondly, snakes are not looking for things except their next meal or maybe a hiding place from people like me.
and third...why would a snake want anything I was looking for...(geez dad)
Imagine my horror when I said, to no one in particular..."If it were a snake, it would have bitten me." and I wasn't talking to anyone. I was looking for my sunglasses because I couldn't find them. (I guess that is the only reason to look for something, huh?)
For three days I looked in the car, the house and in my purse and nothing.
I get into the car this morning and what is sitting on the back seat...the sunglasses. Now here is the thing. I looked in the car but not in the back seat. Hence why I said it would have bitten me.
It's safe to say, that if a snake were in my backseat, and somehow crawled to the front, and slithered across my feet while driving, one of two things would have happened.
I would have crashed the car or I would have traded my car in! End of story. Most likely I would have stopped the car, got out and ran away from it like a deer running from hunters!
But that wasn't the scary part..the scary part came when I realized that I had did the unthinkable.
So on May 13th at 5:47 in the morning, I BECAME MY FATHER!
Gasp! The Horror! and now all that is left is for me to sit in the chair in the corner, turn on CNN and complain that there is nothing on television.